You have compared yourself to several people at some point of
life, right? I keep telling myself that the only way to live is
"being a better person than I was yesterday."
Honestly, I have sort of
started feeling that THAT is a load of crap. Now, I'm no wise sage but I have
been observing and introspecting. And I just had this series of moments, where
I realised some stuff.
Live is to learn. That is all
there is.
My hopes, my dreams, my aspirations...these change as I age. What
used to be a dream now might be something I have lost interest in- or maybe I
have achieved it only to realise that 'well, that was underwhelming.' No, I'm
not trying to undermine what we achieve. A lot of times they DO make us feel
happy. But happiness is temporary.
So then, are achieving dreams
going to get me to these fleeting moments of happiness? I'd cherish those
precious moments but I'm not looking for anything temporary in the long
run.
Well, what then?
"Inner peace."
I don't know about others but
for me, my inner chaos is way more stable.
I don't live to compare myself
to anyone else or even myself.
I don't live for my dreams that
keep shifting.
I don't live to achieve
happiness either.
What do I live for then?
I'm living to learn. Add
dimensions to my being. To explore. To experience absolute chaos and to
ultimately surrender myself to the 'peace' everyone keeps talking about.
But first, I need to understand
that comparisons are inevitable but can be controlled.
Dreams and happiness are
temporary but are still precious.
Looking for validation for our
actions and decisions is innate.
But, man, you gotta learn.
Learning, to me, is the purest action one can do with their lives. What they
learn may or may not be approved. As long as you want to learn, you are alive.
So here is hoping that I learn
- a lot many things.
